It’s okay not to know what you want, it’s okay not to be where you ideally want to be – as long as you recognize it and are willing to put in work to change what you can change.
Sometimes I get really down on myself for not doing more, for not being more. But I know what my shortcomings are, and I’m willing to go the extra extra extra mile to see if I can do something to change them. I think I’m having a quarter life transition, not to be mistaken for a quarter life crisis because I’m not lost, I’m just anxious to go HAM!!!

When you’re 10, 25 is light years away- bags full of money, kids, a big shiny home and all the luxuries a young mind can dream up of. And then you hit 20 – a time where you actually believe these things are achievable because you’re in school (to become who knows what), you have a job, your responsibilities are limited to your cell bill and maybe a bit of plastic debt, all minimal, all manageable. It’s really all fun and games – I dub this time period the most honest and innocent adult years you have, trust me you don’t get many.

And then when that part is over – you’re where I am. My side gigs are more fulfilling than my full time gig – more often than not (okay, maybe always) my freelance work brings me more joy than my paid work (isn’t that ironic), and yet I’ve never been happier. I’m at a job that I don’t mind (which is another way to say, I’m not happy or challenged), but I really feel like it’s a blessing in disguise. Because of my attempts to get out of the rat race, it’s helped me uncover what makes me tick. Use what makes you unhappy (or what doesn’t challenge you), to find what does! Use what seems to be against you, to your advantage.

Too often people are unhappy with their situations but facing reality is a lot uglier than continuing on as is – it’s true! Realizing your short comings are no fun, acknowledging the fact you’re not where you want to be is even more unfun.”Denial is the best world to live in!” – says the person in denial. The unknown is scary, totes agreed. But you know what’s scarier? Not being happy. That ol’ tale “Do what makes you happy,” is a lot easier said than done. If I were to take that literally, I’d be in bed all day watching Saved by the Bell and eating oreos off of my belly, while snuggling with my boo & nephew, or some variation of that! I really am a firm believer in somehow turning your dreams into a career, or at least getting satisfaction from whatever job you may have.
I’m not entirely sure if I’ll be successful with my next business venture(s), I’m not really sure if they’ll even happen, I really don’t know if any of my plans will pan out, but I’m willing to risk it all to see if they’ll work because I love doing it, and my happiness is like, so worth it!!

You must change what you are not happy or unfulfilled with, do not waste your most fruitful years (the 20’s in case you haven’t been paying attention) on being mediocre. Honestly, if you’re reading this & on vickyloves on the regular, you’re already ahead of the game! Lol. take the time to think about what you love to do, if you’re truly happy where you’re at then good on you! but if you’re not where you thought you’d be, I really hope you give yourself a chance to find that joy.

The 20’s are such a dope age – young enough to be adventurous with decisions in life, business, career and love, & old enough to know better. What drives me now (fancy shoes, good food, pretty hair, shiny toys, financial security for me and my loved ones!!) might not necessarily drive me in my 30s, besides the financial security part. The 20s are best for experimenting, being selfish, vain, indulgent, and picky! Don’t you agree? I don’t know what my 30s hold, but I’m hoping the choices (the good and the bad) I make in my 20s will make it an enjoyable ride.

So what’s love got to do with work and life? Absolutely everything.

PS. it’s okay not to know what you don’t know. I love you, okay bye. Have a great weekend!

Good afternoon, dolls! I know, I know, I’m sorry for being a little (or a lot) MIA as of late but I’m in the midst of getting shit poppin’ so just hang on tight for me!!! it’s the last Friday before my trip out east so I’m a ball of anxiety and nerves. What if my nephew doesn’t like me? what if he doesn’t think my jokes are funny or that my hair is nice? I don’t deal with rejection well (come on, with a face like this I don’t even know what rejection means… lol kidding, relax)… but I really am eggcited to meet my nephew! Shit so is cray, kid isn’t even mine but I already want to love him forever.

25 is young but I’ve been an old soul all of my life, yes – beneath the partying, the snappy comebacks, head boppin’, finger waggin – is a very old soul lol. Sometimes knowing what you want too early cuts into all the experiences you should have to get to where ya need to be. Ya feel me? but for me it’s a blessing bc it feels like I have a head start on my path! Someone once said to me “A creative (wo)man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.” What good is money if you can’t spend it on the people you love, what good are ears if you don’t really listen? And what good is your heart if you don’t have someone to share it with? … thank goodness, I have you. My desire is to achieve and share, not to do well motivated by beating others. Sharing really is caring, and if all I have is my word – then best believe my word is bond!

Taking a breather is necessary.
We live in this now now now world where replies are expected immediately (sometimes without much thought), results are supposed to happen overnight, and verbal vomit is an epidemic. Sometimes my quick tongue (can you blame a Vietnamese blooded sista for a quick reflex-like come back!!?) has a mind of its own. I’m always really quick to dish a comeback or call someone out (not without reason of course) but lately when I’ve taken a minute or 2 to hold my tongue, or even think it through during a car ride, I no longer feel the need to say what I initially really wanted to say. The power of taking a moment to digest and let go.

Don’t trust people that mean well. If a bitch always tryna mean well, she ain’t ever gon’ do well. Too often the poor actions of poor people are lifted up by the fact, “they meant well.” I for one have never believed words over actions because we all know action trumps all. period! It’s really easy, mean well = do well. What good is all that talk if it’s not followed up by sincere gestures? Better yet, shut your pie hole and just do. Oh I’m gon’ do this, I’m gon’ do that, well if you say it then you better do this, and you better bet your ass you’re gon do that. I spent a lot of 2012 believing in others (I still believe in those worthy) but it’s all talk under the bridge now unless you’re stepping up and doing what you preach. DO well.

Anyways I have a lot more to say but I think this is enough food for thought, be ready for seconds next week.

It’s like ice cream convos, errrybody want the scoop ya know .. so now you know.