It’s not every day we bump into a prince charming type of guy, but when you do, cot dayum you best be on it like donkey kong. For the rest of the world, the modern day prince may not eggsist but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell a keeper from a creeper, right? Wrong! Most boys these days come masked with good intentions and short terms goals (get that booty), but real men… well, they’ll let you know when they’ve arrived, don’t you worry about it baby. My cousins and I read Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man on our Cali trip a few years ago (we passed that book around like hot cakes any time we had hotel down time), and most recently I watched the movie, “Think Like A Man,” inspired by the famous Steve Harvey book and it got me thinking…
- “We men are very simple people: if we like what we see, we’re coming over there. If we don’t want anything from you, we’re not coming over there. Period.
Who hasn’t met a guy that they felt they chased more than he chased them? Uh, *raises hand (don’t worry, these were my earlier dating days). The waiting for their texts, calls and even hoping they make plans with you – I hate this ish. If a guy is feelin’ you, trust me that foo will let your ass know. And if he’s not, he will let you know too from the lack of his efforts in trying to kick it. Not driving over to scoop you up, not coming for lunch when he has a day off, blowing you off to see his friends/work out/ play games. Men are simple, their words will sometimes throw you off but their actions will always be truer than true. If you’re waiting on a guy, say goodbye.
- “The COOKIE”
Ah, the main attraction at every stop, the cookie! Also known as getting some. Some folks have a 10 date rule, the 90 day probationary wait, etc., but whatever the case, the cookie holds infinite power. Not saying to abuse it by being a tease, but know that things change when a boy gets what he’s come for. He will lose interest, he may leave, or stay around for a bit (if even at that), but for a man, the cookie solidifies what it was that had him whipped over you from the get. I don’t have much to say about this but “”With great power comes great responsibility.” Lol.
- “Boys Shack, MEN build homes”
As we get older, and when I say we, I mean I, it’s a lot easier to separate the men from the boys. Boys shack, men build homes. And when I say home, I mean building a relationship roof for your circle of trust. Boys will live in the now- what’s for lunch? What to have sex? Men are a little bit more – want to have lunch next week? How do you feel about that situation? Want to have to sex? Okay, so maybe they’re not so far off from one another in that sense but men will lay the building blocks to create a solid foundation of you and him. Meaning he’s building a relationship home for your love. He’ll want to know your thoughts, your outlook on certain subjects, your goals. All in the hopes of creating a future with you, building a home with you. Get it?
- “KNOW THIS: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exchange for your time.”
I struggle with this. Not because I don’t love it when I get taken care of, but when you’re a boss used to taking care of yourself and others (haha look at me eh), it’s hard to receive that in return without wanting to repay them. But this is what I’ve learned, just because someone takes care of the dinner tab doesn’t mean I haven’t taken care of the other important love tabs. As in being there emotionally, sending sweet love notes, doing small things that will make the other person happy- those tabs are just as important. But I’m not saying just because you take care of the monetary tab means you can slack on the other love tabs, you gotta do a bit of everything. There’s a price you have to pay in exchange for the other person’s time. A real man will know this and will do what it takes.
- “Men respect standards- get some!”
The whole lowering your standards because everyone has told you how picky you are is such rubbish. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was too picky I’d be at least a hundred-aire.. ok I’m kidding but I know what people thought and I didn’t bat an eyelash twice in their direction because a real woman knows what she wants and sticks to it. Boys are afraid of standards, oh my gosh she wants me to open the door for me all the time? She needs me to make plans? Talk about my feelings? Be a gentleman? AHHHH. I’m not saying men welcome these standards with open arms, but they welcome the challenge when the fruit is worth it. You = fruit. Sweet, ripe, and only a small window of a season to get qualified. It’s not your responsibility to teach someone how to love. Everyone loves in their own way, just because someone loves you with all they have it doesn’t mean it’s enough. Stand up for something or you’ll fall for absolutely everything. Or I could be completely wrong and I’ll end up alone forever. We shall see.
- “Remember what drives a man; real men do what they have to do to make sure their people are taken care of, clothed, housed, and reasonably satisfied, and if they’re doing anything less than that, they’re not men.”
Thug gotta do what a thug gotta do. I’m not saying go out and date a banger but at least learn to appreciate their hustle and commitment in keeping their loved ones happy. Men know what to do, there’s no need to grill it in their heads. They all know what they should do but it’s because they won’t do it. It is not your responsibility to tell someone more than once how to be treated, the fundamentals of being a man is written in their DNA. If he’s not satisfying you in your biggest must haves (affection, acts of kindness, gifts, etc) then move along because this person may be the man for someone else.
But most importantly, above all else, behind every great man lies an even stronger woman. A man wouldn’t be a man without a strong woman by his side. Knowing what you will and won’t put up with, having standards, and standing strong when you’re under fire is what being a bad boss bitch is all about!!
Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance. ”